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Merch
Gear for the Capsaicin Design Platform — from functional lab equipment to apparel that carries your tier. Some of this is merch. Some of it is PPE. At Tier 5 and above, the line between the two starts to blur. Everything here is coming soon — join the waitlist to get notified when items drop.
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Every item is designed around the reality of working with engineered capsaicinoids. The lab coats aren’t costumes. The safety gear isn’t decorative. And the apparel exists because after you survive a Tier 8 tasting, you’ve earned the right to wear the number.
Coming Soon
Lab Coats
Branded lab coats for specimen handling. Once you’re working with anything above Tier 5, this stops being a costume and starts being PPE. Full-length cut, snap closures, chest pocket with pen slot, and the Scoville Splice mark on the left breast. Available in standard white and a limited charcoal variant. Because handling engineered capsaicinoids in a hoodie is a decision you only make once.
Coming Soon
Safety Gear
Nitrile gloves and splash-proof goggles — both branded, both functional. The gloves are standard 6-mil nitrile in boxes of 100, printed with the Scoville Splice wordmark. The goggles are ANSI Z87.1-rated splash-proof safety goggles with an anti-fog coating and an adjustable headband, branded with the capsaicin molecule on the temple. If you’re opening a Tier 7 or above, these aren’t merch — they’re required equipment.
Coming Soon
Apparel
T-shirts, hoodies, and caps with specimen tier designations. Rep your highest tier survived with a shirt that carries the tier number and its SHU rating in clean typographic lockups. The hoodie line features the full 10-tier spectrum printed on the back — a wearable reference chart for the lineup. All garments are heavyweight cotton or cotton-blend, pre-shrunk, with discharge printing for a soft hand feel.
Coming Soon
Cutting Boards
Heat-resistant cutting boards designed for specimen prep. End-grain hardwood with a juice groove and a dedicated specimen channel — because cross-contaminating a Tier 9 specimen with your vegetables is a food safety event. Each board is laser-engraved with the Scoville Splice mark and tier-handling guidelines on the reverse.
Coming Soon
Specimen Storage
Purpose-built storage containers for specimen preservation. UV-blocking borosilicate glass with airtight silicone seals, sized to hold individual specimens or full flights. Each container is etched with the tier number and a capsaicinoid stability reference — because proper storage affects potency, and we take that seriously.
Coming Soon
Sticker Packs
Die-cut vinyl stickers featuring the 10-tier specimen icons, the capsaicin molecule, and the Scoville Splice wordmark. Waterproof, UV-resistant, and rated for laptops, water bottles, lab notebooks, and any other surface that needs to declare an affiliation with engineered heat.
Quality Standards
Merch from a capsaicinoid engineering company should meet the same standard as the specimens themselves. Lab coats are cut to actual lab specifications, not costume proportions. Safety gear carries real certifications — ANSI Z87.1 for goggles, standard medical-grade nitrile for gloves. Apparel uses heavyweight fabrics with discharge printing that won’t crack or peel. Storage containers are borosilicate glass with documented UV-blocking properties. If it’s not built to the spec we’d use in our own lab, it doesn’t ship with our name on it.
Tier Apparel System
The apparel line is organized around the 10-tier specimen system. Each tier has a corresponding design lockup — the tier number, its SHU range, and the dominant capsaicinoid — that appears across shirts, hoodies, and caps. Choose the tier you’ve earned. The system is simple: you wear the number of the highest tier you’ve tasted. No one checks, but you’ll know. And so will anyone who’s been above Tier 6.
Coming Soon
Join the Waitlist
Merch drops will be announced to the waitlist first. Get early access to lab coats, safety gear, apparel, and accessories before they’re available to the public.